So I finally have a tattoo.
Judging by how many people were surprised that I got a tattoo, I suppose some sort of an explanation is in order. I don’t know that I can really explain why I wanted a tattoo, but I can say with definite certainty that I wanted one. I’ve been interested and thinking about getting a tattoo for over ten years, and decided to use my Dad’s calligraphy of our name before his Lewy Body disease made it impossible for him to do any calligraphy – and asked him to paint it for me.
I didn’t tell him what I wanted it for. I have no idea if he would have approved or disapproved – but I do know that he would not have said anything if he disapproved, so I said nothing. Also, I hadn’t yet fully committed to getting it, meaning mainly that I hadn’t decided where to get it, and I was thinking that it might be something I’d want to do after he died.
I like tattos at the base of the neck – but this tatto was for me, so it didn’t make any sense to put it somewhere where I’d have to contort before a mirror to see it for myself. I liked the idea of the forearm or the ankle, but expected that the ankle was likely to be more painful, being less fleshy (and having no idea what the regular sort of painful was going to be, was not excited to choose a painful location), and both locations are not terribly discreet. They are not brand-it-on-my-forehead statements, but I can forsee situations where I might not want to show it off. And I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell Mom, so that was a factor (and apparently not a great one, as I told her pretty much immediately).
Ultimately I chose my upper thigh – clearly visible in a bathing suit, and certain pairs of shorts, but otherwise invisible

As it turns out, getting it wasn’t really all that painful. It wasn’t pleasant, it wasn’t comfortable, but aside from when she started on a new area, it was mainly just uncomfortable, but easily bearable.
And so far, there are no regrets – not that I was expecting any, else I wouldn’t have done it, but it’s reassuring to be glad I did it.
But I wasn’t expecting what I would feel when I got it.
I now understand why people say it is addictive, and why there are so many heavily tattooed people. It’s an impressively empowering experience, one that I found surprising. It gave me a feeling of finally taking ownership of my body, which seems ridiculous seeing as I was already the one living in it and who had the most control over it. Still, I felt like I at last staked my claim and none can take it from me.
No doubt the feeling will fade, but I’m going to hold onto it while it lasts.